Post-Valentine Love

When I got this write up from one of our anonymous PALs… I was so excited because it was super relatable and I knew a lot of people would feel the same way. Took a while to edit and get the finished write up out! (I was traveling the world lol) But hell Yeah! It was worth the wait… I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did. Cheers to our second Guest Writer! Thank you for sharing your growth with the world. – E

You know those mushy feelings and thoughts most single people get while attending a wedding… “OMG!!! They are so in Love…. They look so cute together, aww see how he looks at her, so adorable……. if only…. that was me ….”

Trust me, it gets lonely when you are single. Especially these days of social media where everyone seems to be in a happy relationship. This hits you the most on weekends when everyone except you is doing something special with his or her partner or when there’s an event and everyone except you has a plus one. Frustrating I know!

Let’s not talk about Valentine’s and all the “forever and a day more valentine” captions! The endless roses and candlelight dinners. While you, the single man or woman, you are home… eating ice cream, watching Netflix or old romantic movies like the ‘Pretty Woman’… wondering when Mr. or Mrs. right will come! HAHAHA! Pathetic right?

But this is the reality of many single people out here. You question yourself… ‘Why not me? Is there something wrong with me? Why is everyone but me finding Love?’ Being in a society where there’s a lot of community pressure to get married doesn’t help either, especially when you reach a certain age and your close friends are getting engaged, married and popping babies.  The ‘concerned’ family and friends hound you with unsolicited encouragement… ‘Your own will come… you are next…’ 

Frustratingly depressing, I know!

These things lead many people into making desperate decisions such as dating the next person who has interests in them without even really getting to know the person which half of the time leads you back to square 1. I for one have been there and will tell you for free that the temporary feeling of comfort you get from having someone to show off as your own is not worth the long-term heartache of choosing wrong. Some people go as far as getting married to this next person they meet which even leads to more chaos in the long run. You hear stories like, “they pressured me into getting married” 

And I also know it depresses many people because they feel left out, unloved or unwanted, unworthy of Love (Trust me, that’s the devil trying to get into your head).

You need to believe in yourself and trust that you are beautiful and loved. God loves you. You also need to find that peace within you and trust that your happiness is not tied to a relationship or marriage; your happiness is in your hands. I always say ‘Happiness is a mood, not a destination’.

It’s okay to have a self check from time to time. But that is what it should be a self check not a comparison.  A self-check because there is always room for improvement not because you think there’s something wrong with you, direct your thoughts to positive thinking like ‘what can I do to improve myself’. Take that course, learn a new skill…  do things that will improve your confidence. 

Nothing sells better than a man or woman full of confidence in themselves.

It’s better to focus on being a better you and preparing yourself for the Man/ Woman God has for you… because marriage and any form of serious commitment is a lot of hard work and you must be mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally ready for it. 

There are so many people out there who are not worthy of my love (and yours) and I will be patient and wait for my prince charming because he really exists and while I wait, I would work on my relationship with God because only Him can prepare me for forever.

I am a young successful entrepreneur, Smart, Hardworking, Beautiful, God fearing Woman still working on fulfilling my dreams and destiny, I am not perfect but any man would be lucky to spend the rest of his life with me.  That is where my head’s at. It took me a long time to get my mental state here and I know that if I could do it, you can too.

P.S.- The one thing I will not do, is to be pressured into settling for less, or lower my standards just because everyone around me is having their happy ever after. 

So yes, I am 29 and single and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me.  XXX.       Anon