I know Your Worth. Do You?

Sometimes we need a reminder of who we are and what we are worth. When life throws us some curves, we may forget who we are. We may forget how far we have come, and it tempts us to believe these curves are all we will ever be. But we have always been more than these curves of life… we will always be more.

Rejections are difficult, especially when you put in your best and nobody seems to notice or appreciate your efforts. It hurts, it hurts when you are told NO. When you worked so hard to even be heard and then they say NO. They turn you away; they say you aren’t good enough. But this is what they think, this is an opinion, a very subjective one… sometimes people say no to you because they don’t like your face, color or guts… or because they are in a nasty mood.. their NO doesn’t mean you are worthless. 

Until now, I never understood how it was possible to fail at one thing multiple times, like don’t we learn from mistakes?? but this has happened to me in several areas in my life. Failing repeatedly and it hurts so bad. And this failure comes with moments of doubts and questions. What is wrong with me? Am I really so dumb? 

Funny how you question everything you have ever been successful at just because you are failing at one thing.  

I mean, if I could ace that, why can’t I do this? Why am I failing miserably at this? Was it really me that aced that? Or was I just lucky?

I do not believe in Luck. I believe in timing.

These curves then lead us down a path of insecurities. The moment you doubt yourself in one area; you open the floodgate for doubt in every other area. Before you know it, it is no longer about just failing the exam or being rejected you start to see flaws in how you look, in how you talk, nothing about you seems to be good enough for you anymore, you become your biggest critic. You become judge, jury and executioner over your own life; you are going in for the kill (against yourself).

You cannot win this battle of life if you are against yourself.

We let everything on the inside fall apart due to something happening on the outside. We let our self worth and self esteem burn to ashes because of failures, rejections and mistakes that take place on the outside. It is how we internalize these things that brings about the feeling of worthlessness.

We can’t control the timing of our life, but we can control how we react and internalize the curves of life at this moment in time.

I always say there is a difference between time and timing. Someone would ask me, ‘what does that even mean?’

Well, everything happens in a moment, in a moment in time you fail, you lose, you are rejected… but in timing… we are talking about the sum of so many moments leading up to one grand plan… in timing, the losses and wins are all interrelated and necessary.

In this moment in time you have failed, and you have been rejected, but you haven’t failed in the grand scheme of the timing of your life. You are exactly where you need to be.

Keep giving your best, however, if you fail, make a mistake or get rejected after doing everything to the best of your ability, you need to understand that timing is at work… 

You are not defined by rejections, mistakes or failures.

Who you are and what you’re worth is a separate entity from these things… I’ve learned to see these curves (rejections, failures and mistakes) as things that MUST occur in life whether you are rich, poor, slim, fat, a celebrity or not. It is a normal occurrence in life, and it takes its pound of flesh from us all. Those that make it through, are those that understand this.

Though this is now a known fact to me (and I hope you know this too). It doesn’t stop these things from giving us a moment of doubt and question. That is why we need an excellent support system when these times come, to remind us of who we are… that’s why we need a bounce back strategy to get back up when life knocks us down (read a guest writer’s strategy here).

I know some days are really hard… you are desperate for a win and there seems to be none…. life is failing you, it feels like you are at odds with the universe. Nothing is working, and you want to give up. And I probably don’t have the right words to stop you from giving up, but I need you to do this one thing for me, please get through today, try to get through today… if you can fight through today, maybe you can fight through tomorrow and the day after and every day till the timing of your life arrives. 

Please don’t give up, don’t stop believing, don’t forget who you are and never stop believing. If you won’t do it for you, do it for me, do it for us; all of us that believe in you and are rooting for you. 

I am on your side and I know your worth.

All my love,

E.